Sunday, May 8, 2016

Happy Mother's Day...How has motherhood changed you?



How has motherhood changed you?

For me, becoming a mother was the scariest thing ever. I remember leaving the hospital with my newborn and feeling like an imposter. Everything felt foreign. I was responsible for another human...a little helpless human who needed me. Filled with love, excitement and anxiety, becoming a mother was the best thing I ever did. That's when I knew motherhood changed me as a person.

I asked three famous mothers (women I admire) about how motherhood changed them too.

Kathy Lette (author) - "Kids are like Ikea appliances  - you have no idea how much assembly is required until its way too late. And prepare for boredom. Motherhood is basically about dilating your cervix the customary 3 km for the pleasure of spending the next ten years in bathrooms applauding bowel movements.

But don’t let your guilt gland throb. Just remember that a "balanced meal" is whatever stays on the spoon en route to a baby’s mouth. And “controlled crying" is the art of not shattering into tears when your toddler accidentally wipes marmite all over your new designer suit. Plus the only response to a baby monitor is to talk into it and say, "I'm sorry. But the working mother you are trying to reach is temporarily disconnected. Please try again later."


Kathy Lette

Working mums juggle so much we could be in the Moscow state circus. Just remember that you can have it all, only not all at once. And that perfect mothers only exist in American sitcoms. All mums have those days where we’re tempted to shove the kids back into the condom vending machine for the refund.

Apart from all that, motherhood has brought me such joy. And made me a more compassionate person. Your children are the greatest love affair of your life. Unconditional. Well, there are some conditions – kids, do not ever put me in a Maximum Security Old People’s Home! Or I will come back to haunt you.

For more motherhood survival tips, may I humbly suggest you read two of my novels “Mad Cows” and “To Love, Honour and Betray” which takes the sacred cow of perfect motherhood and whacks it on the barbie. 

And if you really want your maternal heart strings twanged then please do read “The Boy Who Fell To Earth.”  Happy Mother’s Day to you all."

Deborah Conway (singer, songwriter) - "My headlines are empathy and patience - I became a much more patient person after becoming a mother; lucky, I need all the patience I can get with teenager daughters. 

I never thought I had issues with empathy but becoming a mother was a revelation on understanding my mother, wow this is how much you love, you hurt, you ache, you worry, you love!"


Deborah Conway

Mrs Woog at Woogsworld (blogger) - "Since becoming a mother, my life has changed in every single area. Gone are the long sleep ins and my adversity to bodily fluids of any kind, and from every orifice.

It has taught me patience, GOD IT HAS TAUGHT ME PATIENCE..... *deep breath*

And it has taught me a new respect for my own parents who went on this wild ride five times."


Mrs Woog

Check out Mrs Woog's new book, Primary School Confidential. It's out now and is hilarious.